“What did you guys ask for Christmas?”

The room went quiet.

“Clothes,” a few girls murmur.

“How fun!” The teacher sarcastically retorts.

Well, as an 18-year-old, what else am I supposed to want? Every year, my mom will text me at the start of December, “what do you want for Christmas?” Usually, a list of expensive my mind went completely blank. I thought about it for a minute and text her clothes or makeup immediately floods my mind. But this year, my mom asks this question, and back and say “nothing.” She responds, exasperatedly, “oh come on Anna, help me out here.”

I look in my closet full of clothes and my bag full of makeup and my cozy comforter and I really don’t have anything to want or need. This inability to come up with a few gift ideas shows that, besides being privileged, I’m stressed. As a high school senior, the expectation is set that I will be able to get into a good college and that somehow I’ll be able to pay for it. Maybe logging into Naviance and looking at my options, ranging from $45,000-$60,000, has dulled my Christmas spirit.

College shouldn’t be this expensive! It goes against the basic human right to an education. We shouldn’t be stressed about the price tag when touring a school and picturing the next four years of your life—it should be about the ultimate quest for knowledge and experience.

So I know that not asking for any Christmas presents really isn’t going to make a dent in what I have to pay for my future, but the aspect of money has just been freaking me out.