Fish Blog 2: Electric Boogaloo

Paul Rapuzzi, Online Editor

I honestly didn’t think I’d be writing this blog.

How is the fish not dead?

I ask myself these questions and more every time I see it blow a bubble in its tank.

Before I get into all that’s happened in the last eight months I should review how this got started.

Sister scams mother into buying a fish. I think it’s stupid. I’m convinced based on my sister’s lack of responsibility and the fact that we have a cat that eats fish flavored treats the fish won’t last three weeks.

It’s been eight months.

Now, you have to understand, it’s not for lack of the universe trying to kill the fish.

Every day the top of the tank is knocked to the side with my cat dunking its face in the water. Usually I pull him off, apologize to the fish and put the tank cover back in its original place.

My sister rarely feeds him. Just enough to keep him alive but not enough to keep him happy. Poor chump.

He spends his days doing pretty much the same thing he does every day. Floating around and probably, at least I think he does, wishes for death. What a life.

Still no name. I’ve christened him Fish, though. Can you christen a fish? I’m not too sure, but that’s what he’s been called the last eight months by nearly everyone that comes across his tiny tank.

Except for my sister who has rotated names, and this is just an estimate, a hundred thousand times.

She’s insisting now that his name is Buddy, but we all know what his real name is. I’m sure it’s on his birth certificate somewhere. Actually, scratch that, fish don’t have birth certificates.

I’m really just surprised the girl too lazy to sharpen her own pencil has been able to keep another living creature from the sweet release of death. Seriously, she can’t keep five dollars in her wallet for more than 10 minutes but she’s managed to keep a Beta fish alive for eight months.

Color me impressed.

Oh well, we’ll see if good ol’ fish is alive come next school year.

I’m still betting on no.