Salad? I’d rather have a steak

Bess Tiller, Reporter

I have never eaten a salad. I know you may think this is a joke or a lie, but sadly it isn’t. Something about eating a leaf weirds me out.

“Are you really okay with admitting that?” Jake Little (’18) said jokingly.

Not only have I never eaten a salad, but I may be the unhealthiest eater I know. I live for Chipotle, Five guys, and all other fast foods. My normal lunch consists of chips and cookies and I couldn’t be happier. There is a reason I have to run track year round. It’s no coincidence.

One day my metabolism will catch up to me and I will have to start making healthier choices. No longer will I be able to ask for double rice, bacon burgers, or eat a full dinner only to go back to Hannah Weeren’s (’18) basement to eat an entire bag of Air Heads.

Salad is one of the most unappealing foods to me. I might fall into many other categories for being “basic,” but never will I be the girl to order a salad on a date.

Chipotle is one of my favorite places on the entire world. You will see me there at least twice a week. Not only do they already serve lettuce, but to appeal to those who love salad for the reason I can’t understand, Chipotle offers a “salad” option. If you aren’t getting rice you seem crazy in my eyes.

If I tried salad, who knows, maybe I would like it, but nothing has ever made me feel the need to order one. My mom makes one every night at dinner, but why eat a salad when you have a steak sitting in front of you? This is the same reason I don’t order them when out to eat. If I’m going to California Pizza Kitchen I’ll for sure be getting avocado egg rolls. If I’m at a burger place, why wouldn’t a bacon cheeseburger be the way to go?

I don’t understand why so many love a bowl of leaves. I understand the variety to it. Im constantly told you can do whatever you want with it, add croutons, dressing, whatever you want. I just don’t feel the need to express myself through my food.

I do like one element of salad: croutons. Those look really good to me, but that would be the equivalent of eating the chocolate off of chocolate covered strawberries and leaving the berry. That’s another thing I would do, considering I have never had one of those either, but that’s just a whole another story.

It isn’t like I don’t like any vegetables at all. I love broccoli, and tons of other vegetables I’m just not about the leafy greens.

I guess it would be untrue to say I’ve never had a salad. I have had pasta salad if that counts. It’s just the lettuce thing that throws me off.

I can promise everyone I will not be at the new salad bar in the cafeteria anytime soon.